I FEAR THE UNKOWN

Fears of mine...

I fear of going to sleep and never waking up. Never getting to feel that cool morning air on my skin. Watching the sun rise over the mountains. Eating a warm breakfast. The feeling of a new day. So I am grateful for each day that I wake from my sleep, and get to feel the morning.

I fear I'm not good enough for my parents. I'm not the little boy I use to be. I have changed. I am trying to start my life. I am becoming who I am. I hope I make you proud, because I still love you. I may not have it all figured out yet, but Mom, don't you worry, because I was raised by the best. 

You and Dad.

I fear that my heart will be broken. I have been through some tough stuff. I have had a few times in my life where I thought I was feeling love. But with every experience, I realized that there was more to learn. Eventually I thought I found it. I had reached the understanding and feeling of love, but I only found that there was still more to be learned. I don't want to reach the end and find that love isn't as strong as I thought. I want to find what I believe is love, and prove that it is real. I want to prove that you can truly love someone with all your heart. That you can love and be loved. That love is the most powerful force in the universe. I think it would kill me. For me to put all my love into someone, and watch them throw it away. 

I don't want to be shattered. 

I want to be loved.

I fear what my future will be like. What I do now in my life will affect my future. Everything I am working on is helping work towards my future. If I get an F in school. There goes the Scholarships. If If I cant control my spending habits,. There goes my credit. I don't want to make the wrong choices and in return, get a  future I didn't want. 

I want to be successful. 

I want to be happy.

I fear that no one is listening. That what I say goes unheard...unread. No one takes it to thought. No one takes it to heart. That all these things that I express are going by unnoticed or being ignored. That the feelings I put down on paper are just words to the lifeless souls that people are. I want to know that I am heard. That people are listening. I fear that no one will understand. 

Even if no one listens. That wont stop me from writing. 

Because one day. 

Maybe...

Somebody will hear me.

Fear has no control over you, until you give it control.