The Feeling

To- The Girl

I cried myself to sleep last night because of what I did. I was a total idiot. I don't know what I was doing, what I was Feeling, what I was hoping for.

The second, the very moment that I saw you, something inside me sparked. It was very small, but it only takes one spark to start a wild fire that can become uncontrollable. Getting to know you and who you were was my favorite past time. You were always on my mind. I was hooked! 

Seeing your beautiful face gave me the strangest Feeling. The Feeling of a million butterfly's trying to  break out of me at once. When we were together, It felt right. 

When I had to leave the first time we met because your mom said I had to go. I was devastated, because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with you. And when I was driving away, I wanted nothing more than to turn around and go back to you. Then the craziest thing happened. You texted me and told me to meet you at the movie theater. You have no Idea the Feeling and joy I had. I saw the first street on my right and I hit my brakes! I turned around without a second thought and I sped towards you. The Feeling was so alien I had no idea what i was doing. It was like something inside me was taking control and It wanted you. 

That wasn't the only time that I had that Feeling. When we want to see each other It always comes back. My chest feels warm, and I will do anything to get to where you are.

The moment we held hands. That Feeling was indescribable. I don't know where these Feelings come from. It comes every time you come to mind, every time I see you. Its crazy!

So when you texted me after work last night, wondering if I wanted to come over and watch "The Fault in Our Stars" with some of your friends, but mostly me. The Feeling took over, and I was on my way as soon as possible. Even though it takes me 45 minutes to drive to your house and you wanted me to come so late, I made it my first priority.

Then when I got there, I was the only person who showed up. No one in there right mind would have done this, but...I did. I came the latest, the farthest distance of anyone and I was the only one to show up.

The Feeling was over taking, looking for something, but I wasn't sure what It wanted. When I was with you the whole movie, The Feeling inside me felt different. It was confused, it was looking for something that wasn't there. It was looking for The Feeling inside of you, but you didn't have it.

At least not the same Feeling. 

It was hard to understand this Feeling inside of me. My mind knows what I want and how I want it, but then my mind shuts down and The Feeling turns on and takes over.

So I asked you, Why am I having this Feeling and why is it so confused? The answer you gave made was clear. The Feeling I was having was lost because, It knows that it shouldn't be turned on yet. I knew I didn't want to Feel this way yet, but The Feeling was uncontrollable.

That night My Feelings were broken. I now know that The Feeling shouldn't be searching for what it wants...It needs to be turned on, only when The Girls Feelings are the same.

I'm sorry for Feeling this way. I need to control my Feelings. I will hold on to them with all my heart, and let them go when there is no confusion, and The Feeling between us is real. 

Thank you for hurting me, so that I could realize that there wasn't anything there. At least not yet.

Sincerely- Your Prince John